And where are they?

Men... Good men. Men who actually care about how you feel or what you say. Men who are polite and not assuming of sexual deeds. Men who are... idk...Not douchebags? No, I dont want to date you over pompus, spiky haired, orange tan, ghetto talking weirdo. Bleh. ow okay, okay. Not ALL men are like the jerks from THE JERSEY SHORE, but ever that halfway decent ones have self motivated "jerk-like" qualities that I am in no mood to put up with.

I would love a southern gentleman with family values and a decent education. Not that much to ask for right?

I digress...

Moving On...

October... ...Can you believe it's OCTOBER already? Almost over really. In a week, It's will be NOVEMBER! How did ths year go by so fast? This time last year I was just getting home from Ohio ready to move on with my life. Sadly, I've made little improvement.
Well, to be fair, I am now in college and have better knowledge on what I want from my life (not to mention; I went to JAPAN!): But really, if I think about it, I'm still where I was last year. Ready to move on, but not quite there yet.
Josh and I (the old one) went off and on this year about continuing a life together. As it is, I've decided once and for all that we leading seperate life and it's best to let go. Unlike last year, however, when thought I believed that and said it, there was this pain in the pit of my stomach wondering if that was really that right choice. I don't have that feeling anymore. Now that ache in my tummy is hunger.(I have yet to eat lunch. lol)
As far as school goes, I still have over a year to complete it. My other school turned into total disaster and I was forced to find a more structered school. As it turns out, this one actually counts as college, but it takes longer to complete as it is only 3 days a week instead of 5. That helps though. I know can work part time and not strain my self.
I still have plans to move out of my parents house. Now that they are retired, they want to move out of state by next summer and have agreed t help me with half my rent so I can get settled living on my own with out having to rely on roomates that could not turn out so well. They want peace of mind that I'll be okay on my own in FL, while I'm waiting to graduate and hopefully (if I'm not content in sarasota) move up north with them when I'm done.
I managed to keep Riley. I fought long and hard and now have my brother and sister watching him until I move out of the parents house (I'm looking around Jan. or Feb. of 2011) He's been movng around so much I wonder if he's happy. I was going to give him up, but It never worked out. even after I put up posts on craigslist. I even had an interview for a family but the had a crisis that day, and it never worked out. I can't wait to just get settled and have him in a placce that he'll love.
I guess I'm just frustrated that it's been a year and all I have to show for it is... ...more plans! Though tangable and carfully thought through, it still just crazy how I haven't done anything more with my life thus far. I did go to JAPAN in December and travel to Illinois a bit through out summer. But then what? Nothing. Enroll in college, bust. Enroll in another college, working on it. Move into house with roommates, HUGH bust. No boyfriends that made the cut. No ligit dates this year. I mean c'mon. Am I selling myself short? Or am I just dwelling and feeling sorry for myself? Irregardless, I am moving on.

I'm sitting in the mall and Lookng around, it looks like everyne is either married with kids, kids on the way, or engaged. People my age! Is everyone in a happy loving relationship? It that why I can't seem to find someone worth my time. nw don't me wrong, there are tons of great guys that woud be excellent boyfriends, but It sems that only one I'm atrrated to or taken or wouldn't look good to my parents.

Besides that, I am generally happy. I went on a date the other night and he was nice, but nothing ever clicked. I haven't really felt that since Trooper and before that it was Marine, and before that it was o.j.; so I'm thinking it bound to happen soon, but until then I'm just biding time. I
I want to get involved in a church or doing community service or something worth while. Like give manicures to people in assisted living homes. I think that would be pretty cool.

I gues I'll continue making plans ad by this time next year, hopefully I'll have more accomplished; and when I really think about it, who really has everything they plan done anyway? Not many I assume.

Till later,
Me xo

Quotes to live by < 3

Someone recently told my that I was insightful and full of little quotes of wisdom about life. I never thought of myself as a philosopher, or maybe I just never noticed before. Knowing it now, I really like thinking of myself that way. It makes me unique. <3

Eclipse!

So, this is posted very late (Sry Guys I've been slaking!) But my Mom and I went to the Eclipse Premiere on June 30th! We Started out the night by watching the Twilight/New Moon double feature and then preceded the the premiere! It was awesome. I made a shirt from an old white t-shirt and decorated it. Then I took lotion and glitter and made my Madre and I all sparkley.





We topped it off by adding plastic fangs that were so cheaply made, that it took all we had to make them look good in the pictures. As is, they still look pretty bad.



The movie was excellent! The new director really took it to the next level and covered a great deal of the book. I was very impressed.

All in all, it was an amzng night and I can't wait for the next one to come out! On a side note, this was also the first 12:01am premiere my mom and I had ever gone to together. <3

Till next blog: Me.

School Week 1!

I went amazing. My calling is cosmetology.. I love it! Week one, and I already have a client. It's incredible to be right on track with what you're meant to do in life. Truly incredible. It's like this weight has been lifted, no more pressures or fears about what I want t do in life. I'm lucky-- most seniors in college don't have that feeling yet. I may not get the "college life" that I dreamed of, but I get many other great experiences. I am a little sad I won't have "the glory days" of college but I've found that those who dwell in the past can't move onto the future and that's where I'm flying by. I love this new chapter in my lfe and though I have pieces of the past peaking in, I've found they are slowing deteriorating and that makes me smile because I remember when I couldn't imagine life with out those pieces.

As far as men goo, I'm still looking and I'm having a fun time doing that. No sex can be a strain but after a while I now understand I'd rather be connected emotionally first an then physically. Unfortunately, most men don't share the same opinion, especially considering they can get "put out" so easily nowadays. That thought scares me, because I don't like being alone for long, but something tells me that now that I'm on the right path, the right guy won't be too far around the corner.

Till next Blog (TNB)
Holly <3

Funny pics

EPIPHANY!

So, I had an epiphany today; which by definition is "moment of revelation and insight".
Can you guess what it's about? I'm sure you could: Love, naturally. I've decided I can wait on love. Now for those who know me- that's no easy feat. I've never been single for more then three months, and I've never had a healthy relationship. I'm always fighting fate one way or another and I never pay attention to red flags. Now I would never say it was a waste. I don't regret anything and I've done some amazing this because of my past relationships. Most have included traveling as you know. (On a side note, I now know how much I LOVE to travel and that I definitely want it in my life.)

But in all my past relationships, I'm always the one giving up the most, whether they can or can't- it's me who gives the most and I'm done with it.

Why waste time and wait for someone who isn't as serious as you? Why give up your family and a sense of "home" for someone who doesn't treat you right? Why give your all to someone who wouldn't cherish you, and keep you the only girl in his life? Why uproot yourself from everything you've know and let your life and family become strangers, if the person you are doing it for isn't sure about you?

These questions aren't worth answering and my epiphany has taught me something.

If I'm not happy just being with myself, then how can I enjoy and truly appreciate myself with others? Now I'm not saying I'm going to become a loner, but I am going to take some time and learn to just be content with me. I need to be happy with what I have and stop always trying to put someone else in it.

My epiphany was this, "I'm happy, and I can continue to be this way on my own. I'm waiting for the right person to cross my path and I'm going to stop looking for it. I want and deserve someone who knows how awesome, sweet, and pretty I am. Someone who will cherish me. Someone who will never make me feel inferior or insecure. I want a specific guy, and I wont settle for less. When the time is right it'll be right and I wont have to push it. I will not have sex again until I am in-love. Sign, Sealed, Delivered <3"

So for now, I am going to focus on school (I'm a full time student in fashion cosmetology school starting next tues!!) and continue to work out, and work part time. Besides, with all that and a little bit of time for friends, who has time for a boyfriend anyway?

Goodnight Blog <3
-h

P.s. Epiphany is also going to be the title of my new song <3

Home, Oh sweet, sweet home.

Tomorrow I will be back in my hot, hot heat of a state. Hurray for Florida. I have a new outlook of life. I don't think Trooper and I will work out. I guess I could've seen it coming. That's life for you, though. It's sad: I thought I'd finally found someone I could really see myself with. I haven't felt the way I felt with him in a long time. At least I learned things, and now I know I'm truly ready to fall in love again. Thank god for the realization. I know what I want, and I'll get it. Trooper just isn't ready for it yet, and I am. He's so wonderful and I wish he finds the girl of his dreams soon. But I can't be with someone who isn't ready to fall yet. I tried; moving on.

When I get home, I'm going to enroll into school and be an amazing cosmetologist! Maybe work in a big city. Who knows.. lol

Night.

Good Morning or Good Night?

It's almost seven in the morning, and I'm still awake.
I keep looking out the window waiting for Trooper to pull in the drive.
A car drives by--not him.
An SUV drives by--not him either.

I'm still playing Forza and replaying "Impossible". I don't know why this song affects me so. It hits a place in my heart that I don't think I've ever been truly able to heal. Trooper says his Mom liked me from the little time I saw here. I'm happy but what next? Surely he knows somethings up. I think he's doing it on purpose...

Later......

So I talked to him. He was shocked I noticed. Really, Babe?? I only notice your every move; analyze every word you say, or tone you say things in. I can't help it, I naturally notice everything. You're shocked because you don't touch me the way you did? Your shocked because I can see the reserve in your eye? C'mon now, don't take me for a fool. I may be young but I'm not naive.

I told him to make up his his mind. If he wants to be with me, then be with me. He says he's happy I'm here but I think he's worried about how he's going to feel when I leave again. We'll see.

He's amazing, but dammit, why do boys have to be so complicated??

Hollz ♥

Love is Impossible

So a friend posted this song on Facebook. It's so beautiful and sad; but somehow incredibly true. I'd thought I'd post the lyrics:

Impossible; By-Shontelle

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did, I did
And you were strong and I was not
My illusion, my mistake
I was careless, I forgot
I did
And now when all is done
There is nothing to say
You have gone and so effortlessly
You have won
You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Falling out of love is hard
Falling for betrayal is worst
Broken trust and broken hearts
I know, I know
Thinking all you need is there
Building faith on love is worst
Empty promises will wear
I know (i know)
And know when all is gone
There is nothing to say
And if you're done with embarrassing me
On your own you can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Ooh impossible (yeah yeah)

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did

..............................................

I Don't know why falling in and out of love is so hard, but all I know is the feeling of it is worth the pain. I hope I find it, and when I do I pray it's the real thing. I just want someone to want me and to need me as much as I need them. People take for granted the good things in their life too easily. Can't we just take a moment out of the day to appreciate all we do have? All I know, is that my love is a gift, and I'm dying to share it with someone worthy of me. I just hope I find that someone before I'm wrapped up in a shell of hurt and pain, and the beauty of my love is no longer as precious as it is now. Things to ponder....

Taking frustration out on Forza

So Troopers gone to work, and I'm playing Forza Motersport 3.

They have the car of my dreams on here; the Audi R8. Ahhhhh, it's sooooo sexy. If I could just sit in one and drive it around the block, I would die a happy camper! Customized to my liking, the car is approx. $122,000!!

Three Hours Later...

So I went to Jewel Grocery Store and rented "When in Rome" and "Alice in Wonderland". I'm talking to my girl Kay, watching "When in Rome". It's such a cute movie.
After I get through with the other movie, Trooper should be almost home <3

I'm very optimistic right, now. It's very peculiar. Must be a good sign.
Night,

Hollz

Can anything else go wrong????

So Trooper just bought an XBOX 360 when we went to Walmart this morning. Greeeeaaat.... Now I get to be ignored the whole time I'm here. Damn, damn XBOX!! I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Gaming... But, all the time. Where's the sweet, sweet kissing and cuddling? What about going out to a movie or something. Nope. "I'm going to Walmart to get another controller for you to play, too. Badass!" Awesome. lol Yay, Hunny; I'd love to play XBOX for 9 strait hours!!! Why else would I have come all the way up here?! Ugh my life. :/

In other news, while he was playing XBOX (instead of sleeping before work so he won't be way exhausted and want to sleep all day tomorrow), I decided to be nice and take the dog for a walk around the neighborhood. During so, a kid asked to pet the dog, and other kids squealed behind us about the dog; so the dog got spooked and barked and bit the kid! He went inside, and had his parents wash it and then they got my number and asked about the dog, yada yada yada.. Aka- Big Mess! Luckily they were really nice about it, and aren't going to the emergency room. Can today get worse? I'm sure it could.

Now he finally went to bed, and he said I could keep playing the XBOX. Joy....


-Gamertag: Nebachnezerr <3

Update on Cody

As you may know, my brother Cody, who I've been lovingly calling "Chodey" (haha) got ran over by a car Memorial Weekend. He broke his arm, fractured his face, and got 3rd and 2nd degree burns from the exhaust sitting on him. Now into Recovery, his burns are the worst damage. We don't think he'll be able to go into the sun with his shirt off again because they had to completely remove the skin where the 3rd degree burns were, which had sweat glands in it and pigment to protect from the suns UV rays. He skin was growing back nicely until the last time we went to remove the bondages. It ripped the brand new layer he just started to grow back off. Beside the tremendous amounts of pain was experienced, it wasn't at all good for his stomach and may have set back his rate of growth.

He was finally able to leave the house and see a movie with his friends, so his spirit is up at least, and that helps. Pray for him. <3

I'll post more updates soon,
Holly

Back in Illinois :)

Back up here with Trooper...

So I made it, and let me tell you, it was no easy feet. After being mailed my non-revenue tickets (free employee tickets from his mom) to my parents' house, patiently waited for a flight that would suit both me and Trooper. Little did we know, that was going to be more difficult then we originally thought. An airline decided to go on strike and my airline was filling up quick and as non-revenue, I was last priority. After 4 days of constantly looking at the flights filling up, we were getting pretty restless. Finally the flight I was planning on had a 50/50 shot that'd I'd get all the way up there and actually on the plane. I figured I'd take the chance and if I didn't get on then we'd just wait until the fourth of July and see if he could come down to Florida then. It wasn't promising; but I got to the gate over an hour early and I gt on the plan taking one of the last seats.

He picked me up and we went back to his house (about an hour drive). Mind you he works the night shift at work and hadn't slept. Of coarse Neither had I because I wanted to make sure I'd be up by 4 am, plus we planned on passing out when we got to his house. But did that plan work? Nada. His mom was in the area, and wanted to meet me. He made pasta (which hit the spot, especially considering I hadn't eating yet, and I talked to his mom just a little bit. She stayed about a half hour and we passed out. It's been eight hours, and now he's getting ready for work and I'm awake thinking about watching a movie.

It's different. I can't pinpoint it, it just is. The feeling is diluted somehow, and I'm wondering if it's a wall put up or if the new has finally subsided and this is whats left. After all the time we've spent on the phone, and the crazy things we've done- I'm a little in shock. I guess I felt it his past week, but I'm not sure what happened. Maybe I'm imaging things. But now I don't feel like he's as into this as before. I don't know.

Only time will tell.


Holly

"That girl's a BEAST!" Thanks, I know. :)

Tonight was AMAZING!!!!

I Went to Wise Guys Bar & Grill to see a local band that I've been following called "Nine Mile Drive" They're awesome. I'm friends with almost all the members in the band and their manager, Chris. They got me in for free, and when I showed up, I was wear Capri Jeans and their band t-shirt; when I left I was wearing two bandannas as a shirt and my t-shirt transformed into a shirt. Everyone kept saying "This girl is so amazing; coolest chick ever!" I can't lie. I felt pretty cocky. ;)

9MD played last so during the wait, we had shots and beer and I got in the moshpit! I got hit in the face, punched in the neck, and kicked in the kidney. It was pretty awesome. At one point, I had a guy go, "Whoa, you're going kill me, chick!" Luckily, he was a friend and not some stranger. hehe

I remember wanting to write sooo much when it first happened, but now I'm just thinking that that sums it all up; and who's to say you care about the details anyway?

The next night I went to Arcadia to Loading Zone and supported them again. I love Nine Mile Drive, and everyone is really cool and fun to hang out with. Not to mention, their music is pretty amazing. Yes, Guys- Feel awesome; I love yous!! lol
Plus I turned another bandanna into a shirt.

When I get back, I'm planning on hanging with them soon.

xo,
Me

Disaster in the making :/

It's been awhile, I know. Boo me.

For starters, I met someone. He's sweet, goofy, and rugged handsome; and the best part! He's not a dream I had the other night. Though, I may have had a couple dreams about him. Anyway! For his privacy, I will forever call him Trooper. Any guess on what he does for a living? lol Well, like all men, Trooper has a downside; a 900 mile downside! Yes, You've guess it. He lives 900 away from me. Did I plan to meet a great guy and partake in the epic adventure known as long distance dating? Uhh, Heck no, and for those of you following this blog, ya'll know how far that's gotten me. Uhh, Nowhere. I can't yet tell if I'm a romantic or a martyr. I guess if you twist it, they could be the same thing. I digress...
I met him at a local hangout and we hit it off. It wasn't until I was completely smitten that I realized that the odds of us working out were slim to none, and I should have just left the night at that and went on with my life. But, c'mon, it's me and we know what I did next. Did you guess that I got his number and planed on spending the next night with him? You're damn right I did! He was sexy, and I couldn't resist. After an incredible second night, I realized I was in trouble; I like him. No worries; no way would he feel the same. Men aren't like that anymore.
Wrong again. So the next day i tagged along as he and his buddy went to get presents for back home. Mind you this was the last day he was in FL and though his father lived here, he didn't visit often. :/ It was another great day, unfortunately, and I planned to say goodbye forever. Next thing I know I'm taking them to Tampa to go to Ybor, pull an all-nighter, and drop them off at the airport by 7am. Now, I was thrilled to do this, but what about my sanity and hopes of having a reasonable, rational relationship? Ehhh, Screw it.So I'm saying goodbye, thinking- well, there goes that; and he pulls a "I'll call you". As great as the guy seemed, all I was thinking was, "Yeah, right."
Wrong, yet again.
Three days later, I fly up there to visit. (Here I go again with being crazy and spontaneous) I'm starting to wonder if I have a disorder for needing random change? Anyhow, It was amazing. I spend another week with him, and that was that. I suddenly found myself in a long distance relationship.
It's been almost a month since I last saw him, and while I still have some doubt- I'm realizing I'm falling in-love with him. I'm an idiot, and maybe this isn't what I think it is, but I guess I'll find out when I seen again- and even more so in time.

I'm planning on flying out tomorrow or Sunday, and I really hope it's still the same when I see him next. He actually wants to see me again, which is a step up from the last guy. haha. Plus he plans on coming down for the fourth of July and spending it with my family. :) He really is a good guy. I'm happy.

I recently quit my job- it made me so unhappy and I'm just going to pay my bills for the next two months and scrounge until I get a new one. (which I already have two lined up for when I get back) Plus, I have officially decided my calling was cosmetology. Hurray! So I'm planning on starting school for that soon. I just have to pick where I want to go. :)


In Other news :/ My brother has been going through a lot.
My mom and I had a great weekend in Orlando at a scrapbook convention that Sunday (Memorial day weekend) He was ran over by a car. To tell the story short, He laid down waiting for a friend under a basketball hoop in the driveway with other friends, and the driver came home, turned off his headlight to avoid shining them n the house and hit Cody. His face and skull were fractured, Arm broken and stomach had 3rd degree and 2nd degree burns from the car's exhaust sitting on him. He'll be fine- but the shock is sinking in and he has a very long recovery. It was purely an accident though, and the fact that he'll live and not be brain damaged or paralyzed in a miracle.

Well, That's it for today. Enjoy today's funny picture and I'll talk ya'll soon!

xo;
ME

BACK!

Hey, I'm back. Been a long time and I've missed you blog!


So I love how I met someone I REALLY want to be with and I can't have him. It's crap. We spent a great weekend together and I can really picture having a great relationship with him, but.... He's 900 miles away. Again, what is with me falling for people who don't live here. Oh yeah, I know why. Because this town is a sink hole and no one in there right mind is going to want to live here.... lol Including me.\

Did I mention. I'm moving. I've been thinking about Gainesville. They have a community college and after I get my dad's scholarship, I can transfer after the first semester. All this talk about finally leaving the area has really got me thinking.

Ugh, All I can think is.. How do I get what I want? What do I want?? I know what I think I want and its.... It's pretty good. But now I'm seriously trying to make a plan. hmmm..

Rat (Roxy) is passed out on my dirty laundry. I need to do it but she looks so friggin' cute, I cant bare to move her. lol

Night.

Worth the wait.

So I've written rough draft lyrics for "fall for you" (the new song I've been working on) and I think I'm changing the name. To what yet, I don't know, but for the first time, I'm asking for help. Think of anything? Let me know. I might just use it.
-Holly



You cant stay.
& my life seems so much more empty.
I count days,
& time moves slower since you've been away.
Yet, Here I stay.
& I'm still waiting.

But I- I have fallen for you.
It feels like my heart's drowning in the water.
I can't break the surface and breathe.
Will you save me?
& I- I'm here waiting for you.
& wondering if you have fallen, too.
Come home to me.

I have changed.
I'm not same girl you had left behind. Okay?
Skies turned gray,
like the sun burnt out the minute you walked away.
Should I wait?
Are we something worth waiting for?

But I- I have fallen for you.
It feels like my heart's drowning in the water.
I can't break the surface and breathe.
Will you save me?
& I- I'm here waiting for you.
& wondering if you have fallen, too.
Come home to me.

All I know, is you'll be home someday.
Do you think that we'll still feel the same?
Right now I am looking at the pictures of our past.
Baby, you have got to let me know;
Do you think that I'm worth waiting for?
Cuz we could have the kind of love the lasts.

Baby I- I have fallen for you.
It feels like my heart's drowning in the water.
I can't break the surface and breathe.
Will you save me?
& I- I'm here waiting for you.
& wondering if you have fallen, too.
Come home to me.
Come home to me.
I'll be right here waiting.
I'm waiting...

Late Night Postings...

Okay, so I was happily ready to go bed and I figured since I wrote three posts yesterday and really didn't do anything today, but I caved and decided to write anyway.

Today I got up late and went to train at the CD shop. Fun, Fun. At least I got to hang out with Kayla for a bit. Then I came home, did some laundry (which is still in the dryer and needs to be folded), went online and read some blogs, watched Felicity on my Dvd player (another show on my "have no life" list that I just happen to own and haven't seen in a while), recorded one of my songs on facebook and got quite a response from it, and then went to Wal-Mart with my mother to get Ice cream. Simple day, but it was nice just to relax.

So I saw a comment on "Girl Next Door"'s blog of someone telling her she should check spelling grammer before she post. Wow, the fact that someone cared that much about it that they felt they needed to say it on the page is incredible. Who cares. Maybe I say that because I have terrible writing skills when it comes to that, but I don't feel like making this blog for a grade, you know. Fail. lol

I need a better sleep routine. I want to wae up earlierr but I just cant seem to get to bed early enough. I'm working on it.

I really want to start working on my mom and mine's stamping business more. Really try to get it off the ground. We have to tools but neither of us is really trying.

My dad and I got some quailty time together yesterday. It's rare that we do and I wish we had more time just the to us us together. Heck, I wish we had more family time, too. Now that I'm back home I'm sure it'll be easier but for some reason, even though we all live under the same roof, we're only all together uder it during the hours of 12-5 am. Let's fix this shall we? lol

Did I mention my idiot theif of a cat took off with my pillow the other day? Like an actual standard size pilllow. In fact, not only did she take off with it, but it's now missing and I can't find it. So now I'm sleeping on a pillowcase sham until I can hunt around my trunk for the other one I brought home. Joys of owning a stinkin' cat. She's only 5 lbs! How the heck, she even was able to grab it and take off astounds me. Oh, & I know it was her because I saw it out of the corner of my eye when it happened. Of coarse at the time I was thinking, "Haha there's no way the was actually a pillow. Must've been paper of something, stupid cat." Thanks, Thanks a lot, Rat! (Roxy's little nickname I've giving her; Rat--suits her, right?)

Well, that's basically it for tonight.
Holly

Get lost with LOST

Well, I guess I did do something tonight...
I watched LOST! There are only 8 episodes left before it's finally over and let me say, after watching for over 5 years!!, I finally think I can see the ending. Now ask any devoted LOST follower, You can't just turn on the t.v. and start watching the show now; nor can you have seen the first couple seasons or a season here and there and expect to know what's going on. C'mon now! Those of use who watch it week to week barley know what's going on. NOw I can understand some of you are rolling your eyes towards the whole LOST phanomanon, but I can't help myself... Im hooked! It's not like I even want to watch it (okay I do) but mostly I just have to see it through. Even if they make the ending stuid (which they might) and I still have most of my origional questions unanswered (whish is likely) I got know one thing!! WHAT THE HECK IS THAT ISLAND? Now this week we've dicovered what the black smoke really is (HURRAY!) and why richard is so damn old, and next week's spoiler look like Locke (who is the black smoke guy and not really locke because he dead-- sorry if you didnt know, too bad if you don't care. lol) is going to try to kill the Oceanic 6. Dun Dun DUN!!! lol

My mom and I spent some quality time curled up under a blanket watching, while graping each others hand in anticipation. I'm telling you now, my mommy has quite the grip!! My hand was numb. lol

Anywho, My other shows are Bones, Fringe, Grey's Anantomy, and Private Practice. Yeah, Yeah... I have no life. lol && now thanks to the four episode recap after lost of the new show "V", I'm now thinking of adding that to my "Have No Life" list. lol

Holly


P.S. I hate how all my pictures are getting cut off! It's just annoying.

"Maybe they got it from IKEA?"

Hey Guys, pepper spray

So let's see.. Not too much has happened since my last post, except that everyone is out doing something right now except me. Alley is making cookies with her new boyfriend, Kayla is having a few drinks with co-workers, and Christine is hanging out with her "sorta" beau before he leave to go back to Miami. I have other friends, of coarse, but those are my main girls. Go ahead ladies... ...feel exclusive. lol

I started follow this couple, Noel and Kent, who have individual blogs. He's in the Army and based in Iraq and she is his girlfriend. Her page, however, says she's his mistress since he's married to the Army. I thought that was funny. His blog is refreshing. I get the soldier point of view on everything and he's a pretty good writer and found myself cracking up with laughter reading some of his posts.

One Blog I have to make mention of is MRS. P. Her husband just died in Afghan on the 14th. It was heartbreaking. She's 23 with a 7 month old babygirl and is already a widow. It really hit home for me because I hear about accidents and casualties over there but never knew any of the families survived by them. Now I'm not claiming to know her but after reading her blog, I felt like I did a little. His humvee flipped and he was crushed on impact. I don't even think he ever met his baby girl. To think she was going to see her husband in a few short months and now he's gone. I agree with what Kent's page said. "Ask those that are deployed who has the hardest job. They will surely tell you that the hardest job is had by the wives and girlfriends of the military. The ones who at some time in their relationship have been introduced to a ranking NCO or officer by their service member and received a greeting of "Welcome to the military ma'am." This isn't a gimic. This is honesty at it's finest. Because those in uniform as well as those in your shoes know that the day they begin a relationship with their Marine, soldier, airman or sailor that they might as well raise their right hand and say the words. They too have just joined the military." Having been a marine girlfriend and navy brat, I know how hard it is to be left behind and my heart goes out to MRS. P and her daughter.

The funny thing is though I feel a kinship with these women, I do slightly feel left out. Josh and mine's relationship was so odd. In total, We've only spent about a month actually together in person, and though we've spent a lot of time on skype- we hadn't really been serious all that long. It felt weird classifing my self with them. They have lives with their soldiers, and somehow I feel left out. Like I was at this Soldier Sweetheart Party where everyne talking and laughing and having fun with each other, and though I was invited I'm the loser who doesn't know anybody sitting on the couch, eating the snacks, wondering what store the furniture came from. Okay, yeah i know, weird analogy, but you get my point. But life happens fr a reason and I guess I never felt like i fit in because I didn't.


In other news, Our realtor (as i mentioned my parents are selling their beautiful home for a shack I mean cabin in TENN.) gave me two cans on pepper spray for my car and keychain. A little awkward, but she and my mom talked and when she learned there was a young women in the house, she wanted to make sure i was armed, i guess. I'm actually thrilled. Not that I plan on using it, but I dont like carrying knives and wanted a form of protection on me at all time. Watch out Attackers! Don't wanna mess with me! lol That and I'm taking self defence and kickboxing classes. Hurray!

Tomorrow Im continuing my search for jobs, being trained at the CD shop, and then possibly swimming and tanning at the house. Oh! and don't forget the exercise!


Holly
My brother showed me this second pic. All I can say is.. WOW.

Optimism is key :)

Hey guys.

Nothing to much new. I'm still on the job hunt and down to my last few dollars. But I'm still optomistic. Going to apply to a few more jobs today and then head off to lakeview park to relax and meditate. It's really pretty out there. I'd go sit out on my gorgeous dock, but my brother, Cody, and his friends are being loud and silly; and lord knows I can't meditate with roudy boys in the background.

Jessie and I went to go see Leap Year with my mother and Cody's girlfriend, Kaitlin. It was fun and th movie was pretty cute. Then we came home and went shopping for a bit which was fun. We made these amazing chocolate mini cakes. They were so good. We added chocalte drizzle and vanilla ice cream on top too. They were heaven!

I still haven't been able to talk to Josh yet, though I'm still doing good. It feels so much better to know where he's at at least. Wondering drove me crazy. lol Silly me has my phone at my side at all times, and spent the last few nights keeping the computer on--Just in case. I just really don't want to miss being able to talk to him again.

I had a little more support, which is great, but is also in part the outcome of going out less; which really I don't mind. Second in part by hanging out with a different crowd, and that I don't mind either. it's mainly just my mom and Jess, but there amazing, so i don't need anyone else anyway. :P

It may sound silly, but since it is MY blog and I'm not really writing it for anyone (though I do slightly hope people read it. haha)I'll say it anyway; before I left Japan, Josh gave me a small travel bottle of his colonge to spray on my pillow (which was one of the sweetest gestures in my life). It's funny because Jess and I were sitting at my house and I was holding my pillow in my lap, and frquently I caught a whiff on his colonge and it made happy and sad. Happy because A. It smells amazing, and B. becuase I could just picture him holding me or memories when I caught a whiff of it when I was close to him in Japan. Sad, because I'm reminded how long I have to go before I can smell it on him again. Okay enough about that. lol

I'm dying my hair tomorrow. It the same color (bronzed rubies) revitlized and I'm excited because I haven't died my hair in 5 months. I'm also going to have tiny highlights of maroon too. It'll be bold but not too outlandish. I can't wait.

I'll write more tomorrow. But sleep is needed as I have an amazing interview tomorrow and if Josh gets online later tonight, I'd like to have a little sleep. Wish me luck! Oh, and I'll work on being more promt with my post, too. I skipped a couple days. lol

Till' later -Me