And where are they?

Men... Good men. Men who actually care about how you feel or what you say. Men who are polite and not assuming of sexual deeds. Men who are... idk...Not douchebags? No, I dont want to date you over pompus, spiky haired, orange tan, ghetto talking weirdo. Bleh. ow okay, okay. Not ALL men are like the jerks from THE JERSEY SHORE, but ever that halfway decent ones have self motivated "jerk-like" qualities that I am in no mood to put up with.

I would love a southern gentleman with family values and a decent education. Not that much to ask for right?

I digress...

Moving On...

October... ...Can you believe it's OCTOBER already? Almost over really. In a week, It's will be NOVEMBER! How did ths year go by so fast? This time last year I was just getting home from Ohio ready to move on with my life. Sadly, I've made little improvement.
Well, to be fair, I am now in college and have better knowledge on what I want from my life (not to mention; I went to JAPAN!): But really, if I think about it, I'm still where I was last year. Ready to move on, but not quite there yet.
Josh and I (the old one) went off and on this year about continuing a life together. As it is, I've decided once and for all that we leading seperate life and it's best to let go. Unlike last year, however, when thought I believed that and said it, there was this pain in the pit of my stomach wondering if that was really that right choice. I don't have that feeling anymore. Now that ache in my tummy is hunger.(I have yet to eat lunch. lol)
As far as school goes, I still have over a year to complete it. My other school turned into total disaster and I was forced to find a more structered school. As it turns out, this one actually counts as college, but it takes longer to complete as it is only 3 days a week instead of 5. That helps though. I know can work part time and not strain my self.
I still have plans to move out of my parents house. Now that they are retired, they want to move out of state by next summer and have agreed t help me with half my rent so I can get settled living on my own with out having to rely on roomates that could not turn out so well. They want peace of mind that I'll be okay on my own in FL, while I'm waiting to graduate and hopefully (if I'm not content in sarasota) move up north with them when I'm done.
I managed to keep Riley. I fought long and hard and now have my brother and sister watching him until I move out of the parents house (I'm looking around Jan. or Feb. of 2011) He's been movng around so much I wonder if he's happy. I was going to give him up, but It never worked out. even after I put up posts on craigslist. I even had an interview for a family but the had a crisis that day, and it never worked out. I can't wait to just get settled and have him in a placce that he'll love.
I guess I'm just frustrated that it's been a year and all I have to show for it is... ...more plans! Though tangable and carfully thought through, it still just crazy how I haven't done anything more with my life thus far. I did go to JAPAN in December and travel to Illinois a bit through out summer. But then what? Nothing. Enroll in college, bust. Enroll in another college, working on it. Move into house with roommates, HUGH bust. No boyfriends that made the cut. No ligit dates this year. I mean c'mon. Am I selling myself short? Or am I just dwelling and feeling sorry for myself? Irregardless, I am moving on.

I'm sitting in the mall and Lookng around, it looks like everyne is either married with kids, kids on the way, or engaged. People my age! Is everyone in a happy loving relationship? It that why I can't seem to find someone worth my time. nw don't me wrong, there are tons of great guys that woud be excellent boyfriends, but It sems that only one I'm atrrated to or taken or wouldn't look good to my parents.

Besides that, I am generally happy. I went on a date the other night and he was nice, but nothing ever clicked. I haven't really felt that since Trooper and before that it was Marine, and before that it was o.j.; so I'm thinking it bound to happen soon, but until then I'm just biding time. I
I want to get involved in a church or doing community service or something worth while. Like give manicures to people in assisted living homes. I think that would be pretty cool.

I gues I'll continue making plans ad by this time next year, hopefully I'll have more accomplished; and when I really think about it, who really has everything they plan done anyway? Not many I assume.

Till later,
Me xo

Quotes to live by < 3

Someone recently told my that I was insightful and full of little quotes of wisdom about life. I never thought of myself as a philosopher, or maybe I just never noticed before. Knowing it now, I really like thinking of myself that way. It makes me unique. <3

Eclipse!

So, this is posted very late (Sry Guys I've been slaking!) But my Mom and I went to the Eclipse Premiere on June 30th! We Started out the night by watching the Twilight/New Moon double feature and then preceded the the premiere! It was awesome. I made a shirt from an old white t-shirt and decorated it. Then I took lotion and glitter and made my Madre and I all sparkley.





We topped it off by adding plastic fangs that were so cheaply made, that it took all we had to make them look good in the pictures. As is, they still look pretty bad.



The movie was excellent! The new director really took it to the next level and covered a great deal of the book. I was very impressed.

All in all, it was an amzng night and I can't wait for the next one to come out! On a side note, this was also the first 12:01am premiere my mom and I had ever gone to together. <3

Till next blog: Me.

School Week 1!

I went amazing. My calling is cosmetology.. I love it! Week one, and I already have a client. It's incredible to be right on track with what you're meant to do in life. Truly incredible. It's like this weight has been lifted, no more pressures or fears about what I want t do in life. I'm lucky-- most seniors in college don't have that feeling yet. I may not get the "college life" that I dreamed of, but I get many other great experiences. I am a little sad I won't have "the glory days" of college but I've found that those who dwell in the past can't move onto the future and that's where I'm flying by. I love this new chapter in my lfe and though I have pieces of the past peaking in, I've found they are slowing deteriorating and that makes me smile because I remember when I couldn't imagine life with out those pieces.

As far as men goo, I'm still looking and I'm having a fun time doing that. No sex can be a strain but after a while I now understand I'd rather be connected emotionally first an then physically. Unfortunately, most men don't share the same opinion, especially considering they can get "put out" so easily nowadays. That thought scares me, because I don't like being alone for long, but something tells me that now that I'm on the right path, the right guy won't be too far around the corner.

Till next Blog (TNB)
Holly <3

Funny pics

EPIPHANY!

So, I had an epiphany today; which by definition is "moment of revelation and insight".
Can you guess what it's about? I'm sure you could: Love, naturally. I've decided I can wait on love. Now for those who know me- that's no easy feat. I've never been single for more then three months, and I've never had a healthy relationship. I'm always fighting fate one way or another and I never pay attention to red flags. Now I would never say it was a waste. I don't regret anything and I've done some amazing this because of my past relationships. Most have included traveling as you know. (On a side note, I now know how much I LOVE to travel and that I definitely want it in my life.)

But in all my past relationships, I'm always the one giving up the most, whether they can or can't- it's me who gives the most and I'm done with it.

Why waste time and wait for someone who isn't as serious as you? Why give up your family and a sense of "home" for someone who doesn't treat you right? Why give your all to someone who wouldn't cherish you, and keep you the only girl in his life? Why uproot yourself from everything you've know and let your life and family become strangers, if the person you are doing it for isn't sure about you?

These questions aren't worth answering and my epiphany has taught me something.

If I'm not happy just being with myself, then how can I enjoy and truly appreciate myself with others? Now I'm not saying I'm going to become a loner, but I am going to take some time and learn to just be content with me. I need to be happy with what I have and stop always trying to put someone else in it.

My epiphany was this, "I'm happy, and I can continue to be this way on my own. I'm waiting for the right person to cross my path and I'm going to stop looking for it. I want and deserve someone who knows how awesome, sweet, and pretty I am. Someone who will cherish me. Someone who will never make me feel inferior or insecure. I want a specific guy, and I wont settle for less. When the time is right it'll be right and I wont have to push it. I will not have sex again until I am in-love. Sign, Sealed, Delivered <3"

So for now, I am going to focus on school (I'm a full time student in fashion cosmetology school starting next tues!!) and continue to work out, and work part time. Besides, with all that and a little bit of time for friends, who has time for a boyfriend anyway?

Goodnight Blog <3
-h

P.s. Epiphany is also going to be the title of my new song <3